There was a water droplet race happening on the smoky window in front of him, one of them being so close to the worn wood border that it assured the hunter’s bet was on that one. They slithered across the surface in long wet trails while the man lying down on the bed could almost taste the success of his droplet (he named it Johnny), until it totally deviated from it’s original course and crash landed after it’s competitor touched the moldy border.
Dean swore. Johnny gave up on him!
He was most definitely bored.
With Sam grocery and equipment shopping and himself still in the motel, he was bored out of his mind. To join his younger brother on this epic quest of fantastic adventures, dealing with old ladies taking him for their grandsons or dirty old men who were ranting about literally everything was proven to be too much for today and thus, Dean valiantly decided to stay behind and guard the resting ground, aka: the first dirty motel they could set their eyes on in the state of Ohio. “Motel 6’’ ….who names their motel with just a freaking number?
He wasn’t regretting his decision but he maybe should have thought about keeping his own wallet instead of leaving it in the Impala…who left him for Sam. Unfaithful vehicle…
He was about to start another race when he felt this oh-so-familiar-woosh-of-air (not a fart, thank you kindly) followed by the sound of feathers rustling in the wind. A particular sound that he could distinguish among millions. That very fact should scare him out a little, but apparently his brain was too tired to let itself analyze the data for too long. It has been a while since he has last seen Castiel and thus, preferred to put his attention on the trenchcoat and mostly the man underneath it, who was currently standing at the foot of the bed, his eyes set on the same window Dean was having his race on. His face showed an unfamiliar expression that he could best pinpoint as being depressed.
Cas’s back almost made a “C” form, his blue eyes much less brilliant than usual (He never stared too long at them, what are you talking about?), and an aura of tiredness that almost screamed defeat. Dean last saw such an expression when the angel learned his Father’s role in the apocalypse and mostly it’s lack of one. The hunter raised his lying form from the bed using his elbows and fixated Cas with a concerned look.
"You okay, buddy?"
The trenchcoat-wearing creature didn’t offer an answer for quite a while, visibly searching for the right words to express what was on his mind. It was surprising to Dean, considering how Castiel never hesitated to come to him when something was wrong or he needed help. Of course he couldn’t always do something, but he at least tried. The angel had no shame to talk about everything and nothing, as opposed to Dean - which only served to make him more worried.
"Do you happen to feel the melancholy of past days?”
That didn’t sound good, and mostly very vague.
"You’ll have to be more clear, Cas."
A small smile drew itself on the angel’s face, though it didn’t change it’s somewhat morose look.
"I mean, do you have moments where you think about the past and how everything was simpler back then? Only a few short years back, where everything was easier to understand and accept?"
The hunter could only blink at that, where was he getting at?
"I think half of the entire planet felt that way once or twice. It’s nothing abnormal.”
Dean had to appreciate the fact Cas was being less and less this one-billion-year-old, outworldly creature and something that looked and acted more like a human. He had no problem with him being an angel, but there were moments where he felt understood as a human and not as a charge and he was thankful for that. Castiel was integrating pretty well and asking less and less questions. He even happened to have found him in a library one day, reading books about human culture, psychology, philosophy, etc…he wanted to learn and that made Dean happy. As the why of it? He really didn’t know but sometimes it was better to leave things in silence and let Cas takes his own steps in the stairway of humanity without being bombarded of why’s, how’,s and what’s.
Dean realized that he was maybe staring a little too much at the man during his train of thought, who was himself finding the window to be quite interesting, from the way his eyes never left it since he arrived. It didn’t stop him from uttering his next words:
"Before I got you out of hell, every day was a continuity of the same length of events repeating themselves over and over. It was orders after orders, and in between, quiet moments of solitude. It never left places for incomprehension doubts, fears, nostalgia…there was no apocalypse, no Lucifer in sight, no war among angels…the only there was, was balance. Equilibrium.”
Was Castiel regretting what he has done for Dean? When he got him out of the pit and change the entire balance of his world? He had to admit he was scared of where this conversation was going. If there was one thing the hunter was grateful of, it was meeting Cas. God, he doesn’t even want to think about how his sorry ass would have been without Mr.-Looky-at-the-Window-like-a-Video-Clip standing over there. He got up from his half-lying position and sat up on the bed, legs crossed, and staring at Cas with a more than concerned look.
"Are you regretting to have participated in all this? Do you want to take back the moment you drew the short straw to come get me in Hell?”
That question seemed to have surprised the angel, which immediately turned his stare from the window to Dean sitting on the bed, a stare filled with incomprehension.
"I could never regret such a thing; there could be a million apocalypses, hundred of leviathan, and dozens of Purgatories, and I would always make the same decision over and over. There never has been a better choice than the one I made that day.”
Not only was Dean more confused, but now his heartbeat decided to play a symphony like the conductor was on Acid.
To be continued
Part 1 , part 2 coming up.
What was your ask anon? <3 I would be happy to reply again!
OH GOD ANON
THAT IS MY JAM.
- Castiel teaching Dean the wonder of non-sexual intimate touching: head massages while listening to calming music, making his skin raise when he just barely touch the skin of his arm , kisses everywhere that lead to nothing but inside lead to everything.
- cuddling in the middle of the night because there’s this overwhelming fear of loosing the other everyday
- Dean asking Cas if he found him hot ( not litterally…) when he got him out of hell and Cas replying honestly that he couldn’t answer because he doesn’t feel things like Dean does, and it’s not it’s angelic side that is at cause , it’s how he always has been. ( look at his brothers…).
- how Gabe made fun of him back in the days but he was the most supportive of it because that made him a special flavour of an angel and his brother only wanted what was best for him.
- Gabriel choking on a popsicle stick when he learn his most Asexual of a brother got together with the most sexual hunter he came across.
- Dean being 100000000000% fine with that and learning a whole new side of intimacy, that sometimes ends in Castiel wanting to go all the way , and sometimes not, and it’s 10000000% okay because Dean is starting to look forward to every session of non-sexual intimate caresses.
- Dean going to the library himself to go read a few books about it and how to surprise Cas with dates, activities ideas and things that do not have sex if Cas do not wants, to in the lot.
- Cas show his love for tea to Dean and if Sam finds teacups along Dean’s side of the bed when he’s looking for his ipod charger, he won’t tell anyone.
* throw confetti*
the list can go on and on ~
I firmly believe that if people watched Misha smile for 5 minutes a day, there would be many less problems in this world.
I automatically smiled when I saw all these…is that bad?
If I learned one thing from Psych 101 it’s that if you look at people smiling you automatically feel happier. If you look at Misha smiling you will feel 500% better. It’s science.
there is not a better feeling than someone playing with your hair
Or running their fingers down your back.
Unless you thought you were alone.
And now, the weather.
#Homer Simpson don’t give a fuck about homosexuality.
there’s something bothering me about this place…the girl in green becomes black in the last gif. ಠ_ಠ
And the girl at the bar suddenly has a tattoo.
Lesbians are not bound to the same laws as you mere mortals
…Is there any reason NOT to?
So many times I read fanfiction (or even regular fiction), and I wonder if the author thinks about how they’re using “not gonna die a virgin” logic.
Like do fanfiction authors ever sit back and look at what they’re doing when they write Dean Winchester in a scenario where he feels like it’s his job to teach Castiel about sex? Because sex is the one good thing about being human. And Cas will finally understand that there’s something worth fighting for. He didn’t understand humanity before sex. He wasn’t good enough as a virgin. He was incomplete. He was inexperienced. He was deemed unacceptable. And in need of repair. Of correction. Whether he understood or not—Dean is there to make him understand.
I’m not saying it’s all good or all bad. I’m just saying do you guys ever think about that stuff? Because I gotta tell ya that’s the kind of logic that makes asexual kids scared to live.
THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!
* applaud and serve all the tea in the world*
Then you’re a shitty writer, aren’t you?
And I’m actually not human. I’m a Chrysler with emotions.
did you draw the picture in the bg of the last photo yourself?
1. A photo of your room
9. A photo of your favourite piece of clothing
10. A photo of your favourite plushie
AREN’T THEY ADORABLE.
11. A photo of yourself
booh…( god I look like crap when I just got out of work and is so sleepy…)
3. A photo of your favourite book
Sadly, I wanted to take a picture of my medical dictionary , but my aunt borrowed it….damn
and I don’t think it is possible to take pictures of some fic I have read ;A;
( sadly, I don’t have much fav books that aren’t science-related. )
I think I should make a graphic of all the asexuality spectrum ( including demisexuality and greysexuality.) it really needs a graphic of his own to make people truly understand. ^^
I think I’m just going to delete that because it mislead people more than it help.
It’s just because in my case my asexuality is pathologic due to a chronic disease and thus I had periods where it fluctuated between asexuality and demisexuality depending on my health , found that out when I was with my girlfriend ( which was the only person I could experience that with, so it was hard to guess that before .)
but I think people will better understand if I just put asexual because it is so rare that my health let me be demisexual that It is preferable and less confusing.
I took some pictures today, and this was my favorite. :)
*swoon* Micalooozzz ~